Tag Archives: cats

Scaredy Cat

Last weekend turned out to be very horsey. Apart from my usual Sunday morning riding lesson, I spent Saturday at the races (and even won a whole £2.50) then Sunday afternoon I went to watch some eventing at the local equestrian college. I’ve always loved horses, in fact I love pretty much all animals apart from spiders, wasps, and Mr F’s cat. Don’t get me wrong, on the whole I would count myself as a cat person. Just not with this particular one. If it’s not whinging for food, or throwing up, it’s shedding hair everywhere or spreading litter all over the house. You can’t do anything in our house without the cat getting in the way. If you try and read the paper she has to sit on it as soon as you put it down, if I get my laptop out she’ll try and walk across the keyboard in an attempt to stop any work being done. Every time you move somehow she manages to get in the way.15799936

Now before anyone calls the RSPCA on me I should point out that this dislike is entirely mutual. Since Mr F’s cat became part of the household, me and the cat have tolerated each other. However it is definitely an mutual tolerance not a friendship. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the
night and the cat will be sat on top of me just staring. I recently saw a book called ‘How to tell if your cat is planning to kill you’ and I’m pretty certain it must have been written by Mr F’s Cat.

A few months ago we really thought she was on the way out. She had stopped eating and could barely walk. She couldn’t even climb the stairs let alone jump up onto the bed. This of course was a blessing for me (although Mr F was obviously rather upset) so with a bit of a spring in my step, we once more dutifully tramped along to the vet where we are regular visitors. The waiting room was full of yapping rats (they may have been dogs), but rather excitedly there was a nice large poster advertising kittens needing good homes. As I say it’s only one cat in particular I don’t like, so I made a note of the number and started planning what we’d need for the new pet.

Of course what I hadn’t planned on was the deviousness of cats. It took thirty seconds from the Vet placing the cat on the floor to her making a miraculous recovery and leaping up onto the table in a jumping display that William Fox-Pitt would have been proud of. You could see the smugness in her eyes. Not only did we now look stupid in front of the vet who clearly thinks we are some deranged mad couple that just like taking their cat out, she’d managed to get my hopes up just to dash them down again. To make matters worse we seem to have found a Vet that won’t even take bribes – I didn’t specifically say I wanted her put down I was just sounding out the scene when Mr F was on holiday but the Vet was having none of it.

I suppose the problem is animals are like people, there are some you like and some you don’t like. One of the horses I ride has clearly got a moody side and has been known to take a chunk out of people she doesn’t like. Yet at least with animals like horses they are kept outside and you are safe from any murderous tendencies they may have. With cats you can just never tell. I think it’s time to start sleeping with one eye open.

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Filed under Hobbies

Scaredy Cat

As an avid reader of crime fiction there is not much in book form that I find really upsetting. For example my latest novel is one by Peter James called Dead like You. The perpetrator in the story has a fetish for designer high heels and uses them to do nasty things to his victims. I wouldn’t therefore call myself particularly sensitive. However whilst browsing Waterstones on Saturday with a friend we came across something that offended even me and had we not already eaten at the time would very likely have put me off my lunch.

 

That is just wrong. The idea that people would actually collect the hair left behind by little tiddles and then make finger puppets out of it is, if you ask me, truly disturbing. What next, Dusting with Dog Hair? Seriously?

Everyone has a different threshold when it comes to what they find repulsive or annoying. I think it’s the same with the written word. There are certain phrases that really wind me up, the use of ‘minds eye’ is one. He saw in his minds eye…

I am sure that grammatically it is correct to use it, but it is so very patronising. I may not be Mensa material, but I’m clever enough to understand when something is being imagined, or remembered or actually physically seen. I don’t always need it spelling out for me.  It’s like watching an episode of Big Fat Gypsy Weddings. They tell you every time they change a shot that ‘this is so and so, he has x number of kids’…you only told me 10 minutes ago, I don’t need telling again. I bet the gypsy programme would only be about 10 minutes long if they only told you things once.

Luckily so far, Dead Like You hasn’t used the phrase ‘minds eye’ and is currently gripping. I am a little concerned as I recently read that Peter James is a big fan of the paranormal and as I haven’t read his books before I don’t know if this stretches to his writing. That is another thing that really annoys me. When you are reading a crime novel that seems to be going really well, and it then turns into some fantasy/supernatural thing.

I like my crime to be nice and human. I want to know at the end of the book that a bad person will be caught and punished, not that they will simply create some imagined identity in order to explain away unrealistic things.  I’m about half way through and so far fingers crossed it all seems to be very natural, will keep you posted.

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Filed under crime fiction, Reading