Some of you may remember that a while ago I read a book called Addicted to Death by author Matthew Redford (Addicted to death by Matthew Redford – a review) This introduced us to the hilarious world of the food-sapiens, and the food related crime led by Detective Carrot Wortell. The first novel had me laughing out loud. Therefore I jumped at the chance to read a short story featuring the food-sapiens ‘Who killed the mince spy’. I am delighted that author Matthew Redford has provided a guest post for this spot on the blog tour.
Dear A crime reader’s blog
Ok, so I need some help. No, not that kind of help, although I can understand why you leapt to that conclusion given that I write about food sapiens. You know what I mean when I say food sapiens don’t you? The walking, talking food items which live and breathe alongside homo sapiens. I can almost guarantee that you know a food sapiens celebrity but that you have just never made the connection.
Let’s take music. We all know the song ‘unforgettable’, well that was sung by the famous food sapiens Nat King Coleslaw. And more recently, we had Ham Smith singing the lead song to the Bond movie ‘Spectre’. And don’t forget celebrity TV presenters. Of course, there is Ant and Duck but don’t forget morning TV host Quiche Lorraine Kelly.
So now that you are on board with food sapiens, you won’t be surprised to know that the police have their own specialised food related crime team, which is led by Detective Inspector Willie Wortel, who also happens to be a carrot. Well, I have become the leading (and by leading I mean only) food sapiens crime author in the UK who has access to the Food Related Crime team.
They have a hugely busy workload and trying to prioritise which case is documented next is really challenging. So this is where I need some help. I’ve briefly outlined some of the cases which the Food Related Crime team have been involved with (more case titles on my website www.matthewredford.com) and it would help me greatly if the lovely people viewing A Crime Readers Blog could provide some much needed feedback about which case they would like to read about next.
Hot and crossed buns: Easter is approaching and the preparations for a long weekend are disrupted when 30 pieces of silver cutlery are stolen. And amidst the robbery lies the body of a hot and crossed bun, who has been murdered. While investigating, the Food Related Crime team also have to work out who has stolen the golden Easter egg.
The Codfather: The Food Related Crime team investigate some mysterious goings-on as food sapiens find themselves swimming with the fishes. There is no point carping on or red snapping about it, but with no obvious leads to find the killer, the team are caught between a rock and a hard plaice.
A cereal killer: Breakfast oats beware. Look out crunchy nuts (no, not those kind). Keep a look out cornflake, there is a cereal killer on the loose. Can the Food Related Crime team catch the killer before another breakfast cereal says cheerio?
Why did the artichoke? When a strange plumb of smoke fills the air causing an innocent artichoke to suffocate, could the Food Related Crime team be facing chemical weapons? Fearing a mustard gas attack can the villain of the piece be unmasked in time?
So there we have it, lots of stories to write, so little time, which is why I need your help. What story should be written up first? Answers on a postcard please?
Thanks so much Matthew, personally my vote is for ‘A cereal killer’.If you fancy reading more about the food related crime team, this short story by Matthew Redford follows his deliciously irreverent debut Addicted To Death (Clink Street Publishing, 2015).
About Matthew Redford
Born in 1980, Matthew Redford grew up with his parents and elder brother on a council estate in Bermondsey, south-east London. He now lives in Longfield, Kent, takes masochistic pleasure in watching his favourite football team snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, is a keen chess player and is planning future food related crime novels. To counterbalance the quirkiness of his crime fiction Redford is an accountant. His unconventional debut crime thriller, Addicted to Death: A Food Related Crime Investigation was published by Clink Street Publishing last summer.
Website – http://www.matthewredford.com/
Twitter – https://twitter.com/matthew_redford